your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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