am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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