So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
