i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
