i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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