the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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