Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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