were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
