People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
