She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
