Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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