This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
