this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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