Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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