Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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