yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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