I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This is classic penis vs brain.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
