even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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