haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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