ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
