apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
