I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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