And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
