So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize