it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
