none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
