Dual....:-)
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
