yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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