You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
