While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
