If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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