You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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