did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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