Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
