I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
