I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
