how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
