You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
