Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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