OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
