you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
this hospital has no fireball
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
