In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
