No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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