so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
