i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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