her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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