i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
