She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
