i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
