Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
