maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
