I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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