Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
