So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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