Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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