She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think people are normalizing furries
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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