I heard we made out
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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