yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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